So, growing up, I absolutely loved my food and I was the definition of a foodie, but because I was always into sports, I stayed quite fit. As the years went by, I still loved food, but I didn’t enjoy sports that much, so gradually I stopped them. During this time, I started to feel weird with my body and point out parts of my body that didn’t really seemed okay to me. I remember one time, I was still doing sports, I was in elementary school, and we were rehearsing for a school play and as I was going up to the stage, I heard my classmate saying “oh look how fat she is”. I think this was the starting point of thinking about food differently.
This happened almost 10 years ago and still, every time I see this guy in my neighborhood, I remember these words. So, from this point I started seeing and thinking about food differently. I would always try to pick the healthier option, try to workout consistently, but I didn’t have the discipline to keep doing it. Even when I had fallen off the wagon, it would still be in my mind all the time.
Also, another thing I didn’t mention prior is that when I was growing up, I was super close with some cousins and we were always kind of compared to one another. I tried my hardest to keep my grades up, because they had high grades, be in shape, because they were always very fit. I didn’t realize how much it was messing up my confidence, my mental health and my relationship with food and fitness. I would try home workouts, because I was scared of going to the gym alone and people looking at me, but its never stuck.
It wasn’t until a year ago that I had a conversation with one of my cousins about this topic and our childhood. When I told her all about these thoughts etc, she gave me the most comforting look and said “I had no idea you felt this way”, which made me realize you never know what a person is going through, so you have to be careful with your words.
Fast forward to now, I have started to see food not only as fuel and how it makes my body stronger, but also as a thing that you are supposed to enjoy and not hate yourself after eating a cookie or ice cream. So to answer my question: no, loving food is not bad. You have to eat intuitively, but keep in mind that you have to fuel your body with real and nutritious food. Yes, you’ll eat a burger or pizza every now and then, because you are allowed to treat yourself, but it’s also your duty to give your body good and real food.